December 4, 2005

Well, I think it's high time I started journaling again. It's been soooo long - years, at least 10 since I kept any kind of diary.

Tomorrow I get to take a second pregnancy test. The first one (3 days ago) was negative, but there might have been the tiniest faint line that COULD indicate a positive. My period, according to my calculations, is only a day late, but the website I've been using to chart my temperature and fertility signs says I should have started on Thursday, so they say I'm 5 days late! We'll see tomorrow.

Maybe I'm just fabricating symptoms, but I really want to be pregnant. Jay keeps telling me things like "you might be someone's mom" and then I cry.

I had a bath tonight but was careful to keep the water warm instead of hot, in case it hurts the baby.

I know if I keep referring to it as "the baby" then it'll hurt that much more if my period shows up.

I'm only been off the pill since the middle of September and we used the withdrawal method until mid-November, so this is our first cycle trying. How awesome would it be to be so fertile right away!

Baby, if you're in there, stay put and stay safe & secure. You are loved and wanted SO MUCH.