Elliot just came up to me saying "where'd that come from?" over and over...
Then he put a booger on my hand and said "from NOSE!"
Friday, August 29, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
August 28, 2008
Elliot just came up to me and asked for mama milk and then added... "like straw!" because I've been trying to get him to remember how to suck to get the milk and so I tell him it's like a straw or a soother. So we nursed for all of 4 seconds. Then it started letting down and I was dripping everywhere and he backed up and told me to "turn it off."
Oh dear!
Oh dear!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
August 21, 2008
Just locked my child in his room. I *hate* nap time. it's been an hour and 20 minutes of crying/yelling/knocking/destroying/playing. He's exhausted but reallllllly fighting his nap. He was up at freaking 6am, you'd think he'd fall asleep the second his head touched the bed.
We did our usual routine. We went over the "Sleep Rules" (which worked beautifully for about a week, then the sticker rewards just didn't hold his interest anymore.) I rocked him and sang to him. Put him in his bead and left. He was in the hallway before I was downstairs.
Between Felix screaming and Elliot yelling, I'm very surprised child services isn't camped outside my house right now. Crap - I just looked - there is a car parked out there with a woman in the back seat staring at my house. Oh well. Whatever.
Then Elliot filled his diaper with one of his rottenest poops ever. Cleaned that up and re-tucked him in again (silently, I try not to talk with him if/when I have to go back in). No luck. Went back up and started hauling things out of his room - toys, books, the rocking chair, and tucked him in again.
Just put the baby gate up in his doorway so he couldn't get out and he's been crying off and on for the last 10 minutes. He's got 5 more minutes and then this nap is over. I'll give him lunch, toss him in the stroller and we'll go about our day. If he gets a 30 minute snooze, so be it. Early bedtime tonight.
He can't be outgrowing naps yet, can he??? He doesn't go to sleep until 9ish at night and then he's up at the crack of dawn. This child NEEDS to nap. I need him to nap or I'm going to hurt him.
Ahhhh... silence from upstairs! Could it be???!
I guess tomorrow I'll start his nap routine later - maybe around noon instead of 11. Maybe that will help knock him out. But I count on that 11 am nap so desperately.....
Nope. He's yelling again.
~~~~~~
We'll, this is a first. Brought him down, gave him his lunch. Came in a few minutes later and saw this:
We did our usual routine. We went over the "Sleep Rules" (which worked beautifully for about a week, then the sticker rewards just didn't hold his interest anymore.) I rocked him and sang to him. Put him in his bead and left. He was in the hallway before I was downstairs.
Between Felix screaming and Elliot yelling, I'm very surprised child services isn't camped outside my house right now. Crap - I just looked - there is a car parked out there with a woman in the back seat staring at my house. Oh well. Whatever.
Then Elliot filled his diaper with one of his rottenest poops ever. Cleaned that up and re-tucked him in again (silently, I try not to talk with him if/when I have to go back in). No luck. Went back up and started hauling things out of his room - toys, books, the rocking chair, and tucked him in again.
Just put the baby gate up in his doorway so he couldn't get out and he's been crying off and on for the last 10 minutes. He's got 5 more minutes and then this nap is over. I'll give him lunch, toss him in the stroller and we'll go about our day. If he gets a 30 minute snooze, so be it. Early bedtime tonight.
He can't be outgrowing naps yet, can he??? He doesn't go to sleep until 9ish at night and then he's up at the crack of dawn. This child NEEDS to nap. I need him to nap or I'm going to hurt him.
Ahhhh... silence from upstairs! Could it be???!
I guess tomorrow I'll start his nap routine later - maybe around noon instead of 11. Maybe that will help knock him out. But I count on that 11 am nap so desperately.....
Nope. He's yelling again.
~~~~~~
We'll, this is a first. Brought him down, gave him his lunch. Came in a few minutes later and saw this:
Monday, August 18, 2008
August 18, 2008
Today was actually ok. It started out fine, went to hell in the middle, and then we had a pleasant afternoon. But for a while there in the middle when both kids were screaming blue murder at the same time while Elliot rubbed peanut butter all over his face and then balled up his sandwich and threw it on the floor then tried to bite me and then attempted to smother Felix while laughing, I thought I might just kill him.
The actual adjustment of having a newborn again has been easy. When I look back on the days when Elliot was a newborn and I think about how stressed and scared we were, I have to chuckle a bit.
What's hard is dealing with Elliot as he struggles with his role as a big brother. The tantrums, the jealousy, the hitting/biting/pinching. He loves Felix, but he wants to hurt him when he's mad at us for not being able to drop everything and play with him like we used to.
I can't put Felix down anywhere and step out of the room to wash my hands or get a drink if Elliot isn't strapped into something or asleep because he will lunge at Felix. He starts off gentle enough, but that soon turns into face-clawing and it happens so fast that I can barely prevent it. Or he throws toys into the playpen at the baby or tries to climb into the swing on top of him. We've tried ignoring it, time outs, scolding, yelling, re-direction, rationalizing, bribing... nothing is effective. I know he's not doing it to be malicious. Yes, he's doing it on purpose, but it's for attention. Not because he wants to hurt Felix. I hope.
Felix wants to sleep on me, all the time. It's hard to put him down and have him stay asleep. I remember this with Elliot, too, but it's harder now that I can't just sit around and watch TV all day. Poor Felix has had to lay there crying more times than I'd care to admit, getting madder and madder and surely the neighbours are going to call child services on me, simply because I need to change/discipline/feed/play with Elliot for a few minutes. I can't be holding on to one while trying to lift the other into the highchair. Or up and down the stairs. Or changing diapers. Or going to the bathroom myself. Sure, I have several carriers (which are awesome!) but it's not convenient for every-minute-of-my-day use.
I bought a double stroller the other day because I just can't be tethered to my kids 24/7 anymore. I told Jay that I liked the feeling that I could just walk away from the kids while we were out - not that I ever would, but having it as an option, instead of having one of them strapped to me, is appealing.
Back to Elliot - he's really acting out. Not just with the hurting of Felix, but in other areas. Lots of control things and so many tantrums. I expected that, but I don't know how to deal with it. There's also the fact that he's almost 2 and is going through developmental things at the same time as adjusting to being an older brother. Everyone keeps saying it's a phase and it will pass. Of course it will, but when? And how do I deal with it in the meantime? I am so frustrated with Elliot most of the time. I just want to hit him when he's whining or hitting/biting me or throwing his entire supper on the floor... and I HATE that feeling.
Both children (and Jay) want and need so much from me and it's more than I have to give right now. And I'm not able to spend much one-on-one time with either child (or Jay, or myself), so bonding with Felix is difficult and giving attention to Elliot in the quality/quantity he's used to and deserves, just isn't possible. So I have to split my time and end up not being able to focus on anyone, and everyone is cranky and neglected, including myself. I just want to run away.
I'm scared of Post Partum Depression, although I'm 99% positive that it's just sleep deprivation I'm struggling with right now. I don't have a good support system in place and I suck at asking for help when/if I need it. I bought a bottle of Grand Cosmopolitan at the liquor store the other day. I've only had 3 small glasses (1 per night, within a safe BFing time frame, when Jay is home, yadda yadda) but can really see how easy it would be to become a lush mama.
Which brings me to my husband. I love having him home on the weekends, but he makes things worse. He's great at being another pair of hands, at playing with Elliot, at changing diapers and cleaning up... but he loses patience and his temper waaaay faster than me and yells. Which makes me feel like crap and not be able to relax and not want to leave him with the kids. I deal with both kidlets all day long, 5 days a week, usually by myself. He can't deal with them for 30 minutes without yelling at Elliot. (To be fair, Elliot is testing his boundaries with Jay because he's not with him as frequently as I am.)
Don't get me wrong, I know it will get better, but right now, I do regret having them this close... We planned to have 2 this close together so they could grow up together and always have each other... but it's going to be a while before I can enjoy it and much longer before they can enjoy each other. Every day I have to tell myself if I can get through just one more day, things will be different.
All normal stuff, right?? *sigh*
The actual adjustment of having a newborn again has been easy. When I look back on the days when Elliot was a newborn and I think about how stressed and scared we were, I have to chuckle a bit.
What's hard is dealing with Elliot as he struggles with his role as a big brother. The tantrums, the jealousy, the hitting/biting/pinching. He loves Felix, but he wants to hurt him when he's mad at us for not being able to drop everything and play with him like we used to.
I can't put Felix down anywhere and step out of the room to wash my hands or get a drink if Elliot isn't strapped into something or asleep because he will lunge at Felix. He starts off gentle enough, but that soon turns into face-clawing and it happens so fast that I can barely prevent it. Or he throws toys into the playpen at the baby or tries to climb into the swing on top of him. We've tried ignoring it, time outs, scolding, yelling, re-direction, rationalizing, bribing... nothing is effective. I know he's not doing it to be malicious. Yes, he's doing it on purpose, but it's for attention. Not because he wants to hurt Felix. I hope.
Felix wants to sleep on me, all the time. It's hard to put him down and have him stay asleep. I remember this with Elliot, too, but it's harder now that I can't just sit around and watch TV all day. Poor Felix has had to lay there crying more times than I'd care to admit, getting madder and madder and surely the neighbours are going to call child services on me, simply because I need to change/discipline/feed/play with Elliot for a few minutes. I can't be holding on to one while trying to lift the other into the highchair. Or up and down the stairs. Or changing diapers. Or going to the bathroom myself. Sure, I have several carriers (which are awesome!) but it's not convenient for every-minute-of-my-day use.
I bought a double stroller the other day because I just can't be tethered to my kids 24/7 anymore. I told Jay that I liked the feeling that I could just walk away from the kids while we were out - not that I ever would, but having it as an option, instead of having one of them strapped to me, is appealing.
Back to Elliot - he's really acting out. Not just with the hurting of Felix, but in other areas. Lots of control things and so many tantrums. I expected that, but I don't know how to deal with it. There's also the fact that he's almost 2 and is going through developmental things at the same time as adjusting to being an older brother. Everyone keeps saying it's a phase and it will pass. Of course it will, but when? And how do I deal with it in the meantime? I am so frustrated with Elliot most of the time. I just want to hit him when he's whining or hitting/biting me or throwing his entire supper on the floor... and I HATE that feeling.
Both children (and Jay) want and need so much from me and it's more than I have to give right now. And I'm not able to spend much one-on-one time with either child (or Jay, or myself), so bonding with Felix is difficult and giving attention to Elliot in the quality/quantity he's used to and deserves, just isn't possible. So I have to split my time and end up not being able to focus on anyone, and everyone is cranky and neglected, including myself. I just want to run away.
I'm scared of Post Partum Depression, although I'm 99% positive that it's just sleep deprivation I'm struggling with right now. I don't have a good support system in place and I suck at asking for help when/if I need it. I bought a bottle of Grand Cosmopolitan at the liquor store the other day. I've only had 3 small glasses (1 per night, within a safe BFing time frame, when Jay is home, yadda yadda) but can really see how easy it would be to become a lush mama.
Which brings me to my husband. I love having him home on the weekends, but he makes things worse. He's great at being another pair of hands, at playing with Elliot, at changing diapers and cleaning up... but he loses patience and his temper waaaay faster than me and yells. Which makes me feel like crap and not be able to relax and not want to leave him with the kids. I deal with both kidlets all day long, 5 days a week, usually by myself. He can't deal with them for 30 minutes without yelling at Elliot. (To be fair, Elliot is testing his boundaries with Jay because he's not with him as frequently as I am.)
Don't get me wrong, I know it will get better, but right now, I do regret having them this close... We planned to have 2 this close together so they could grow up together and always have each other... but it's going to be a while before I can enjoy it and much longer before they can enjoy each other. Every day I have to tell myself if I can get through just one more day, things will be different.
All normal stuff, right?? *sigh*
Thursday, August 14, 2008
August 14, 2008
My mom came over this morning and was here for the whole day.
I had a nice shower.
I pumped off a bottle and Elliot and I went for a Mommy & Me Adventure by ourselves to the grocery store.
I got to nap for a full hour!
This afternoon, I implemented a new 'be gentle with Felix' tool for Elliot - I put 10 small treats (smarties, yogurt raisins, etc) into a container - if/when he hurts Felix, I take a treat away. He had 8 left to eat after supper.
After naps and lunch, I loaded both car seats into mom's car and we went shopping. I spent $30 at the dollar store buying goodies for a 'nursing basket' to bring out when I'm BFing so Elliot has something new to look through.
I bought a second hand, tandem double stroller (they actually delivered it to me tonight) and I can't wait to take to boys out in it.
Mom made 2 big casseroles for us to eat over the next few days.
Mom left and N (the former nanny) came for a quick visit.
Jay was late coming home and Elliot ate supper about 30 minutes later than usual, but that was ok...
I feel good today. Of course, I had mom with me all day, but still, I felt I was managing. Jay even commented on the fact that I was smiling and in a good mood when he got home. (Must have been the cosmopolitan I was drinking...)
I had a nice shower.
I pumped off a bottle and Elliot and I went for a Mommy & Me Adventure by ourselves to the grocery store.
I got to nap for a full hour!
This afternoon, I implemented a new 'be gentle with Felix' tool for Elliot - I put 10 small treats (smarties, yogurt raisins, etc) into a container - if/when he hurts Felix, I take a treat away. He had 8 left to eat after supper.
After naps and lunch, I loaded both car seats into mom's car and we went shopping. I spent $30 at the dollar store buying goodies for a 'nursing basket' to bring out when I'm BFing so Elliot has something new to look through.
I bought a second hand, tandem double stroller (they actually delivered it to me tonight) and I can't wait to take to boys out in it.
Mom made 2 big casseroles for us to eat over the next few days.
Mom left and N (the former nanny) came for a quick visit.
Jay was late coming home and Elliot ate supper about 30 minutes later than usual, but that was ok...
I feel good today. Of course, I had mom with me all day, but still, I felt I was managing. Jay even commented on the fact that I was smiling and in a good mood when he got home. (Must have been the cosmopolitan I was drinking...)
Monday, August 11, 2008
August 11, 2008
Elliot shoved a whole piece of elbow macaroni up his nose at lunch time - I was lucky enough to get it out easily enough (and the pea that he shoved up the other side while I puzzled on how to get the noodle out) but it's made me realize that I don't know what to do if he does it again. I don't think I could keep him still or calm enough to attempt prying something out with tweezers...
Sunday, August 10, 2008
August 10, 2008
I was chatting with my mom tonight. My sister and I are 16 months apart. Mom says I was 3 before I stopped trying to kill my little sister. Lovely - I guess we might be in this phase for a while.
I've started getting up and moving away from Elliot if/when he's rough, telling him that he can't see/play with Felix when he's mean. It hasn't yet stopped the behaviour, but I think he understands it a bit more now. Especially since if I'm holding Felix and we're playing with Elliot, that means I also get up and leave and don't play with Elliot. I feel mean, but I need to protect Felix.
I've started getting up and moving away from Elliot if/when he's rough, telling him that he can't see/play with Felix when he's mean. It hasn't yet stopped the behaviour, but I think he understands it a bit more now. Especially since if I'm holding Felix and we're playing with Elliot, that means I also get up and leave and don't play with Elliot. I feel mean, but I need to protect Felix.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
August 9, 2008
Jay and I got about 3.5 hours sleep total last night. Felix was up until 1am, and then up again from 4-5:30 then Elliot got up at 6 for the day.
I decided I still felt up to going to the Market, especially since it was a beautiful day. Jay was super cranky and I told him I could stay home, but he said he and Elliot would manage.
I got home at 12:30 (waaay later than I planned) to find that Jay's brother made a surprise visit home from Newfoundland!
Felix was very fussy while I was out. I had to stop and nurse him twice which I wasn't expecting, but of course babies this age are unpredictable! I had him over dressed, too, and with the hot sun, we were both roasting. When I got home, I discovered that he'd had hist first poo-splosion! All over me and the Mei Tai carrier, unfortunately.
Then Elliot decided to really act out by hitting and pinching Felix's face. Twice. Man, that child is fast and can be so mean. He drew blood. I wanted to smack him. On both sides of Felix's face, Elliot scraped off a layer of the baby acne. Felix screamed but calmed quickly. Elliot got a time out and a stern talking to, but for the rest of the day, whenever he managed to get within reach of Felix, he tries it again.
D and I took Elliot for a long walk around the block while Jay and Felix dozed. Right now, Jay and D have taken Elliot with them to the grocery store. Jay is still so cranky and Elliot is acting out a lot. I told Jay he should just leave Elliot home (which would suck for me) and he replied "Well, he doesn't need both parents wanting to strangle him."
I'm trying to spend 1 on 1 time with Elliot, to go to him first, etc, etc, everything I can think of so that he doesn't feel pushed aside, but it's so hard. Felix needs me all the time. And I need to get over these very strong gut-instinct urges to smack him when he hurts Felix. That wouldn't help - he'd never understand "No hitting" if that's the punishment he got.
And I'm pissed that I deal with 2 kids all day long on very little sleep and he can't seem to handle 1 for a few hours.
I decided I still felt up to going to the Market, especially since it was a beautiful day. Jay was super cranky and I told him I could stay home, but he said he and Elliot would manage.
I got home at 12:30 (waaay later than I planned) to find that Jay's brother made a surprise visit home from Newfoundland!
Felix was very fussy while I was out. I had to stop and nurse him twice which I wasn't expecting, but of course babies this age are unpredictable! I had him over dressed, too, and with the hot sun, we were both roasting. When I got home, I discovered that he'd had hist first poo-splosion! All over me and the Mei Tai carrier, unfortunately.
Then Elliot decided to really act out by hitting and pinching Felix's face. Twice. Man, that child is fast and can be so mean. He drew blood. I wanted to smack him. On both sides of Felix's face, Elliot scraped off a layer of the baby acne. Felix screamed but calmed quickly. Elliot got a time out and a stern talking to, but for the rest of the day, whenever he managed to get within reach of Felix, he tries it again.
D and I took Elliot for a long walk around the block while Jay and Felix dozed. Right now, Jay and D have taken Elliot with them to the grocery store. Jay is still so cranky and Elliot is acting out a lot. I told Jay he should just leave Elliot home (which would suck for me) and he replied "Well, he doesn't need both parents wanting to strangle him."
I'm trying to spend 1 on 1 time with Elliot, to go to him first, etc, etc, everything I can think of so that he doesn't feel pushed aside, but it's so hard. Felix needs me all the time. And I need to get over these very strong gut-instinct urges to smack him when he hurts Felix. That wouldn't help - he'd never understand "No hitting" if that's the punishment he got.
And I'm pissed that I deal with 2 kids all day long on very little sleep and he can't seem to handle 1 for a few hours.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
August 7, 2008
So Jay's dad and step mom came over to entertain Elliot this afternoon. They mowed the lawn and played in the backyard. I went out to check on them and found Elliot with his feet in a bucket full of blackish berries. I didn't recognize them and asked where they came from. They assured me he hadn't eaten any and said they were growing by the shed. I looked over and saw purple flowers.
Yep, Deadly Nightshade/belladonna. In my backyard. I've seen the plant there before but never looked at it to actually SEE it. If eaten, 2-5 berries can be lethal to a child.
They immediately brought Elliot inside and scrubbed his hands and feet. Jay got home soon after and now plans to cut down the bush asap.
Don't I just love my mother for teaching Elliot about picking berries while I was in the hospital with Felix. We also have raspberries and he now loves to pick/eat those.
Yep, Deadly Nightshade/belladonna. In my backyard. I've seen the plant there before but never looked at it to actually SEE it. If eaten, 2-5 berries can be lethal to a child.
They immediately brought Elliot inside and scrubbed his hands and feet. Jay got home soon after and now plans to cut down the bush asap.
Don't I just love my mother for teaching Elliot about picking berries while I was in the hospital with Felix. We also have raspberries and he now loves to pick/eat those.
August 7, 2008
So Elliot has an allergy. Don't know to what, but there are several big possibilities: the cats, the layers of dust in the house, and the mold on our bathroom ceiling (and potentially all through our attic) are the most likely.
He's been itchy.
For the past 2 months or so, he's been rubbing at his eyes. At first we thought he was just tired or that the humidity we'd been having was preventing him from getting a good night's sleep. Then he added scratching at his ears. Then the back of his head (again, I thought since his hair was getting so long and it was so hot that he was just sweaty).
Then the hives showed up when he ate strawberries.
So we took him to the dr last week. He checked him over and said he could tell by looking in his eyes and nose that he has a mild inhaled allergy. It's likely separate from the strawberry thing. It's mild enough that we don't have to treat it unless it's causing Elliot discomfort - there's been no redness or swelling or watering in his eyes... but he obviously itches.
We need to have our roof repaired. There were pinhole leaks around the chimney last fall and I'm positive our attic is full of mold right now. Jay is hesitating having someone out to repair it because he's scared it's going to turn into a $20K job that we just can't afford. But I say we need to nip it in the bud sooner rather than later because then it will be a $20K job, guaranteed. The bathroom ceiling needs to be replaced now, instead of simply scraped and repainted with proper paint because the mold started. Yuck. (The previous owners didn't properly vent the bathroom and we've never gotten around to repairing it.)
Bah.
I'm hoping that it's a simple pollen allergy that will clear up in the fall. We've noticed it's worse at home and outside in our yard. Or when he's been outside a lot....
He's been itchy.
For the past 2 months or so, he's been rubbing at his eyes. At first we thought he was just tired or that the humidity we'd been having was preventing him from getting a good night's sleep. Then he added scratching at his ears. Then the back of his head (again, I thought since his hair was getting so long and it was so hot that he was just sweaty).
Then the hives showed up when he ate strawberries.
So we took him to the dr last week. He checked him over and said he could tell by looking in his eyes and nose that he has a mild inhaled allergy. It's likely separate from the strawberry thing. It's mild enough that we don't have to treat it unless it's causing Elliot discomfort - there's been no redness or swelling or watering in his eyes... but he obviously itches.
We need to have our roof repaired. There were pinhole leaks around the chimney last fall and I'm positive our attic is full of mold right now. Jay is hesitating having someone out to repair it because he's scared it's going to turn into a $20K job that we just can't afford. But I say we need to nip it in the bud sooner rather than later because then it will be a $20K job, guaranteed. The bathroom ceiling needs to be replaced now, instead of simply scraped and repainted with proper paint because the mold started. Yuck. (The previous owners didn't properly vent the bathroom and we've never gotten around to repairing it.)
Bah.
I'm hoping that it's a simple pollen allergy that will clear up in the fall. We've noticed it's worse at home and outside in our yard. Or when he's been outside a lot....
Monday, August 4, 2008
August 4, 2008
Dear Felix Raphael
Your expected date of arrival was unknown as there was some discrepancy with the dates but eventually, it was decided that your birth should occur somewhere between the 16th and 23rd of July, 2008. However, those dates meant nothing to you as you knew when you were ready to make the journey into Mommy and Daddy’s arms.
At 31 weeks, Mommy and Daddy had a scare when the bag of waters that were keeping you safe and warm sprung a leak and there was concern that you were going to be born early. Mommy was put on bed rest and she took very good care of herself. As a result, the bag resealed and you continued to grow in your safe environment.
In fact, you) were so comfortable that, as Mommy’s due date approached, there was concern you were going to need some encouragement to leave your watery home! On Monday morning, July 28th, Mommy saw her doctor and she determined that Mommy’s cervix was changing in preparation for your birth, so she separated the membranes from the cervix with her finger to help stimulate labour. Mommy had already been having some cramping and mild contractions so there was a good possibility of this working. If not, Mommy was scheduled to have you assessed on July 29th and to have a discussion regarding medical induction later in the week.
Around noon on July 28th, the walls around you started contracting and by 7:00pm the contractions were 5-6 minutes apart and more intense. By the time I arrived at Mommy and Daddy’s house at 8:30pm, the contractions were occurring every 2 minutes and were lasting any where from 30 seconds to 1 minute. Your Mommy is a woman of strength and your Daddy was an incredible support to her. She embraced each contraction with tremendous courage and strength, knowing that each contraction was bringing you closer to their arms.
While all of this was going on, Grampy and Grammy had come over to put your big brother Elliot to bed and to stay with him while Mommy and Daddy went to the hospital.
We arrived at the Early Labour Assessment Unit (ELAU) at the hospital at 9:30pm. The unit was full and the Birthing Unit was extremely busy so Mommy and Daddy and I waited in the ELAU lounge and the nurse working in ELAU that evening came in to check on you and Mommy. You were tolerating the changes very well and much to Mommy’s surprise, her cervix was dilated to 7cm and had completely thinned out. There was great excitement in the room, as that meant that you would soon be in Mommy and Daddy’s arms.
Your nurse arranged a room on the Birthing Unit for Mommy, and L was the nurse assigned to care for both of you. L was new on the unit so she had support from N, R and K, all of whom had more experience.
Dr L arrived around 11:00pm and examined Mommy to find that she was 9.5cm dilated. During a contraction Dr. L was able to push the remaining cervix over your head and within 15 minutes Mommy was feeling a very strong urge to push. She was encouraged to breathe through that sensation while Dr L got ready to assist you. Mommy’s body couldn’t wait and neither could you. You had made up your mind and there was no stopping you. You and Mommy define the term “effective team work”!
At 11:39 your head was born. The cord was wrapped twice around your neck, so Dr. L removed it. With the next contraction they expected you to slide into Dr L’s hands but your shoulders got stuck and it took some effort to get them to release. Happily, within a couple of minutes they were free, and, with one big push, Mommy birthed you into the world at 11:41pm July 28, 2008. Dr L cut your cord and you were whisked across the room to be checked over by the neonatal team. It wasn’t long until you let out some loud cries to let Mommy and Daddy know that you were indeed fine and that there was no need for concern.
You weighed 9 pounds 4 ounces and were 20.25 inches long. It wasn’t long until you were on Mommy’s chest and you were very vocal as you expressed your feelings about your experience. Mommy and Daddy were very happy to meet you and there were tears of joy as they welcomed you. Once you settled, you nuzzled at Mommy’s breast and took a couple of sucks. However, you seemed content to just be close to Mommy and food was not the priority.
Felix, you were born into love and that love will always be with you. Your birth is another thread woven into the tapestry of life that was started thousands of years ago when your ancestors brought their offspring into the world. Felix, I feel blessed to be a part of this tapestry and you will always hold a special place in my heart.
Journey well my little friend.
Your doula,
Karen
Your expected date of arrival was unknown as there was some discrepancy with the dates but eventually, it was decided that your birth should occur somewhere between the 16th and 23rd of July, 2008. However, those dates meant nothing to you as you knew when you were ready to make the journey into Mommy and Daddy’s arms.
At 31 weeks, Mommy and Daddy had a scare when the bag of waters that were keeping you safe and warm sprung a leak and there was concern that you were going to be born early. Mommy was put on bed rest and she took very good care of herself. As a result, the bag resealed and you continued to grow in your safe environment.
In fact, you) were so comfortable that, as Mommy’s due date approached, there was concern you were going to need some encouragement to leave your watery home! On Monday morning, July 28th, Mommy saw her doctor and she determined that Mommy’s cervix was changing in preparation for your birth, so she separated the membranes from the cervix with her finger to help stimulate labour. Mommy had already been having some cramping and mild contractions so there was a good possibility of this working. If not, Mommy was scheduled to have you assessed on July 29th and to have a discussion regarding medical induction later in the week.
Around noon on July 28th, the walls around you started contracting and by 7:00pm the contractions were 5-6 minutes apart and more intense. By the time I arrived at Mommy and Daddy’s house at 8:30pm, the contractions were occurring every 2 minutes and were lasting any where from 30 seconds to 1 minute. Your Mommy is a woman of strength and your Daddy was an incredible support to her. She embraced each contraction with tremendous courage and strength, knowing that each contraction was bringing you closer to their arms.
While all of this was going on, Grampy and Grammy had come over to put your big brother Elliot to bed and to stay with him while Mommy and Daddy went to the hospital.
We arrived at the Early Labour Assessment Unit (ELAU) at the hospital at 9:30pm. The unit was full and the Birthing Unit was extremely busy so Mommy and Daddy and I waited in the ELAU lounge and the nurse working in ELAU that evening came in to check on you and Mommy. You were tolerating the changes very well and much to Mommy’s surprise, her cervix was dilated to 7cm and had completely thinned out. There was great excitement in the room, as that meant that you would soon be in Mommy and Daddy’s arms.
Your nurse arranged a room on the Birthing Unit for Mommy, and L was the nurse assigned to care for both of you. L was new on the unit so she had support from N, R and K, all of whom had more experience.
Dr L arrived around 11:00pm and examined Mommy to find that she was 9.5cm dilated. During a contraction Dr. L was able to push the remaining cervix over your head and within 15 minutes Mommy was feeling a very strong urge to push. She was encouraged to breathe through that sensation while Dr L got ready to assist you. Mommy’s body couldn’t wait and neither could you. You had made up your mind and there was no stopping you. You and Mommy define the term “effective team work”!
At 11:39 your head was born. The cord was wrapped twice around your neck, so Dr. L removed it. With the next contraction they expected you to slide into Dr L’s hands but your shoulders got stuck and it took some effort to get them to release. Happily, within a couple of minutes they were free, and, with one big push, Mommy birthed you into the world at 11:41pm July 28, 2008. Dr L cut your cord and you were whisked across the room to be checked over by the neonatal team. It wasn’t long until you let out some loud cries to let Mommy and Daddy know that you were indeed fine and that there was no need for concern.
You weighed 9 pounds 4 ounces and were 20.25 inches long. It wasn’t long until you were on Mommy’s chest and you were very vocal as you expressed your feelings about your experience. Mommy and Daddy were very happy to meet you and there were tears of joy as they welcomed you. Once you settled, you nuzzled at Mommy’s breast and took a couple of sucks. However, you seemed content to just be close to Mommy and food was not the priority.
Felix, you were born into love and that love will always be with you. Your birth is another thread woven into the tapestry of life that was started thousands of years ago when your ancestors brought their offspring into the world. Felix, I feel blessed to be a part of this tapestry and you will always hold a special place in my heart.
Journey well my little friend.
Your doula,
Karen
Saturday, August 2, 2008
August 2, 2008
Felix was up a few times in the night, no big deal. Except that it takes at least an hour and a half with all the nursings, changings, renursings and rechangings before he finally goes to sleep. He was up at 1:15, it was almost 3 before we settled back down again and then he was up again at 5.
So I was tired before it even began.
Last night, we put Elliot in his big boy bed. He surprised us and slept well. We heard him wake up around 7 and play quietly. I came downstairs to get a bite to eat and turned on the monitor so I could hear what he was up to- but it wasn't working. So back up I went and sure enough, he was climbing on the bed rail so he could reach the buttons on the monitor on his dresser. No biggie, just not the safest place for him to be!
He was soaked, so I had to strip him and the bed (man, that thing is a bitch to change - bed, not boy) and then we came downstairs for his pre-breakfast snack like always. I reached for a knife to cut his banana and I noticed that all the knife hilts and the knife block were covered in wood dust that hadn't been there last night.
Strange.
I took a closer look and saw that the "dust" was moving. EEEW! And a closer look revealed that they were swarming over everything in that corner - my cookbooks, loaf of bread, bagels, bag of raisins, butter, sugar bowl, microwave, etc, etc.
So I start throwing what I can in the trash and the washables in the sink. It becomes a bigger task than I expected, so I called up for Jay to bring Felix downstairs and help me out. Felix of course needs to eat so Jay gets stuck cleaning the entire counter top and appliances with lysol wipes and hot water. I start washing all the dishes. (All of Elliot's bowls/plates/cups were right there, next to the infestation but seemingly not crawling, but who knows.)
Elliot needs breakfast by now so I make him some oatmeal and blueberries, generally a favourite. He downs it after a minor tantrum on his way to the highchair. Then he wants puffs, so I put a bunch on his tray. He asks for more, I tell him to eat those first. He does, then asks again for more, which I give him. He demands more, I tell him again to eat those first and he screams and starts throwing them all on the floor.
While that is happening, Jay is carefully moving all the appliances back to the counter after cleaning them. Of course, the coffee pot hits the floor and shatters. We scramble to find shoes for each other and sweep it all up. Jay gets the shopvac and vacuums the kitchen floor.
We let Elliot out of the highchair after the floor is clean and he comes over to help. He and Jay vacuum up a bunch more bug infested things - the knife block, cook books, etc. Then Elliot starts stuffing his rock and stick collection into the shopvac. They get stuck. Jay is luckily able to clear them out of all the vents and such.
Meanwhile, I'm alternating between nursing and changing Felix and googling anything I can that might tell us what the bugs are. They're microscopic and look just like beige dust. Jay thinks they are dust mites, but I'm not so sure...
By now it's Elliot's nap time, so I take him up and he goes down surprisingly well in his bed. I nurse Felix again in the hopes that he will also nap so that I can nap. It takes an hour and a half of nursing/changing/rocking but he finally goes down for more than 10 minutes and Jay and I both fall asleep.
45 minutes later, Elliot wakes up. I hear the noise machine get louder and figure he managed to get his door open. But no. I hear other noises. I make Jay get up and go check on him, as Felix is still napping and I'm beat. Jay calls me into Elliot's room, asking "Is this stuff toxic?"
Not a question anyone wants to hear!
Elliot had climbed almost on top of the dresser to reach the noise machine on the other side and had been playing with the buttons, as well as with the assortment of diaper creams we thought were out of the way. He was putting on his Weleda baby calendula facial cream, and had eaten some. While Jay cleaned him up, I called the store and they checked the ingredients and said it didn't contain anything harmful and might just give him diarrhea, but that if I had probiotics, I could give him that to help out.
We come downstairs. Those damn bugs are back, in a much smaller amount, but they are still crawling around on things that were already washed and even soaked in hot hot hot water.
Jay stays upstairs with Felix and to re-arrange Elliot's room so he can't get the dresser anymore. I fix Elliot some lunch. He wants water in a big glass, so I pour a little bit in. He asks for more, so I splash a bit more in. He gets mad because he wants a full glass and pours it out on the kitchen floor. I send him for a time out while I clean it up. We have a chat. I put him in his highchair and give him his plate and cups (but not the big cup). He freaks and pitches everything on the floor and then starts trying to bite me. We have another chat. We calm down and try again with a new lunch. I manage to catch the bowl for round 2, but the cups go flying again.
We take a breather and finally, by 3pm he's eaten some lunch.
It's now almost 6. Jay took Elliot for a walk to the grocery store and Felix is finally napping so I get a minute to sit down.
Oh my aching head!!!!!!!!
I have no clue what to do about those damn bugs. No idea what they are or where they came from. Or why they chose that spot to infest. Nothing new had been introduced to that area. No idea how to get rid of them.
So I was tired before it even began.
Last night, we put Elliot in his big boy bed. He surprised us and slept well. We heard him wake up around 7 and play quietly. I came downstairs to get a bite to eat and turned on the monitor so I could hear what he was up to- but it wasn't working. So back up I went and sure enough, he was climbing on the bed rail so he could reach the buttons on the monitor on his dresser. No biggie, just not the safest place for him to be!
He was soaked, so I had to strip him and the bed (man, that thing is a bitch to change - bed, not boy) and then we came downstairs for his pre-breakfast snack like always. I reached for a knife to cut his banana and I noticed that all the knife hilts and the knife block were covered in wood dust that hadn't been there last night.
Strange.
I took a closer look and saw that the "dust" was moving. EEEW! And a closer look revealed that they were swarming over everything in that corner - my cookbooks, loaf of bread, bagels, bag of raisins, butter, sugar bowl, microwave, etc, etc.
So I start throwing what I can in the trash and the washables in the sink. It becomes a bigger task than I expected, so I called up for Jay to bring Felix downstairs and help me out. Felix of course needs to eat so Jay gets stuck cleaning the entire counter top and appliances with lysol wipes and hot water. I start washing all the dishes. (All of Elliot's bowls/plates/cups were right there, next to the infestation but seemingly not crawling, but who knows.)
Elliot needs breakfast by now so I make him some oatmeal and blueberries, generally a favourite. He downs it after a minor tantrum on his way to the highchair. Then he wants puffs, so I put a bunch on his tray. He asks for more, I tell him to eat those first. He does, then asks again for more, which I give him. He demands more, I tell him again to eat those first and he screams and starts throwing them all on the floor.
While that is happening, Jay is carefully moving all the appliances back to the counter after cleaning them. Of course, the coffee pot hits the floor and shatters. We scramble to find shoes for each other and sweep it all up. Jay gets the shopvac and vacuums the kitchen floor.
We let Elliot out of the highchair after the floor is clean and he comes over to help. He and Jay vacuum up a bunch more bug infested things - the knife block, cook books, etc. Then Elliot starts stuffing his rock and stick collection into the shopvac. They get stuck. Jay is luckily able to clear them out of all the vents and such.
Meanwhile, I'm alternating between nursing and changing Felix and googling anything I can that might tell us what the bugs are. They're microscopic and look just like beige dust. Jay thinks they are dust mites, but I'm not so sure...
By now it's Elliot's nap time, so I take him up and he goes down surprisingly well in his bed. I nurse Felix again in the hopes that he will also nap so that I can nap. It takes an hour and a half of nursing/changing/rocking but he finally goes down for more than 10 minutes and Jay and I both fall asleep.
45 minutes later, Elliot wakes up. I hear the noise machine get louder and figure he managed to get his door open. But no. I hear other noises. I make Jay get up and go check on him, as Felix is still napping and I'm beat. Jay calls me into Elliot's room, asking "Is this stuff toxic?"
Not a question anyone wants to hear!
Elliot had climbed almost on top of the dresser to reach the noise machine on the other side and had been playing with the buttons, as well as with the assortment of diaper creams we thought were out of the way. He was putting on his Weleda baby calendula facial cream, and had eaten some. While Jay cleaned him up, I called the store and they checked the ingredients and said it didn't contain anything harmful and might just give him diarrhea, but that if I had probiotics, I could give him that to help out.
We come downstairs. Those damn bugs are back, in a much smaller amount, but they are still crawling around on things that were already washed and even soaked in hot hot hot water.
Jay stays upstairs with Felix and to re-arrange Elliot's room so he can't get the dresser anymore. I fix Elliot some lunch. He wants water in a big glass, so I pour a little bit in. He asks for more, so I splash a bit more in. He gets mad because he wants a full glass and pours it out on the kitchen floor. I send him for a time out while I clean it up. We have a chat. I put him in his highchair and give him his plate and cups (but not the big cup). He freaks and pitches everything on the floor and then starts trying to bite me. We have another chat. We calm down and try again with a new lunch. I manage to catch the bowl for round 2, but the cups go flying again.
We take a breather and finally, by 3pm he's eaten some lunch.
It's now almost 6. Jay took Elliot for a walk to the grocery store and Felix is finally napping so I get a minute to sit down.
Oh my aching head!!!!!!!!
I have no clue what to do about those damn bugs. No idea what they are or where they came from. Or why they chose that spot to infest. Nothing new had been introduced to that area. No idea how to get rid of them.
Friday, August 1, 2008
August 1, 2008
My milk only just came in...so I'm crazy engorged. I want to help it regulate even though I know it will on it's own...
I had to block feed with Elliot, 2 feeds per side before switching. Felix cluster feeds during the day (every hour, which I guess is standard for a newborn!) but will sometimes go 3 hours. The last 2 nights, he's gone 4 hour stretches. He usually nurses on one side and then falls asleep. I change him to wake him up and have been waffling between putting him back on the same side to finish the feed afterwards or offering the other side. That second feed doesn't always happen and isn't usually that long. So, overnight, I could go 7 hours without nursing on one side and man, does that hurt!!!
It's almost 7:30 now. He nursed on the left side around 2 pm and had a monster feed on the right about an hour ago so I don't expect him to nurse again for a little while. The left side is so engorged it hurt to touch it. I'm considering pumping to relieve some pressure, but I know the can of worms that can open up...
I had to block feed with Elliot, 2 feeds per side before switching. Felix cluster feeds during the day (every hour, which I guess is standard for a newborn!) but will sometimes go 3 hours. The last 2 nights, he's gone 4 hour stretches. He usually nurses on one side and then falls asleep. I change him to wake him up and have been waffling between putting him back on the same side to finish the feed afterwards or offering the other side. That second feed doesn't always happen and isn't usually that long. So, overnight, I could go 7 hours without nursing on one side and man, does that hurt!!!
It's almost 7:30 now. He nursed on the left side around 2 pm and had a monster feed on the right about an hour ago so I don't expect him to nurse again for a little while. The left side is so engorged it hurt to touch it. I'm considering pumping to relieve some pressure, but I know the can of worms that can open up...
August 1, 2008
My feet are more swollen now than they were before I delivered - they puffed right up yesterday. My calves are really tight, too, but don't look too bad. When I walk, I swear I can feel the tops of my feet wobble.
I called the hospital and they said that since I'm peeing ok and staying hydrated and didn't have a section or an IV and have no history of blood pressure problems that it's probably all hormonal and I should stay off my feet as much as possible. Which yeah, is pretty much impossible with a toddler and a newborn.
I called the hospital and they said that since I'm peeing ok and staying hydrated and didn't have a section or an IV and have no history of blood pressure problems that it's probably all hormonal and I should stay off my feet as much as possible. Which yeah, is pretty much impossible with a toddler and a newborn.
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