Well, tip one of four of his first 2-year molar broke through last night. Man, that was a miserable night. He was up a lot. I was up a lot. (Felix is also teething and/or growth spurting, so he was also up a lot.) There were lots of tears and Elliot was refusing his medicine and screaming at me that he didn't want it but I knew he needed it and it would make him feel better. Took a hell of a lot of coaxing and some trickery, but he did take it around 2am. Poor little monkey.
*sigh* only 15 more molar tips and the rest of the teeth themselves to pop in. Add in Felix and it's gonna be joyous - so very glad I'm medicated!!!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
October 28, 2008
I'm so fed up with our cloth diapers. I've always battled stink issues, but now it's just getting to be too much. I've switched detergents and washing routines too many times to count. Right now, I'm using Allens Naturally. I do a cold rinse with nothing, then a hot wash/cold rinse. I use 2 cap-fulls of liquid detergent. (Which is only slightly less then what the directions say to use for a normal wash of clothes. I tried using only 1 cap-full and the stink got worse.) I sun them whenever possible. I use dry pails. I wash every 2-3 days. (I was washing every day when both boys were in CDs full time, but since I'm also losing my mind, that's not the ideal option.
Elliot's already in disposables at daycare (3 days per week) and at night. Felix is in disposables at night and whenever I run out of his CDs or if I have to go somewhere where I know the stink of CDs will be noticed (I'm so tired of people handing him back and telling me he needs a change!) - although, these days, Felix is in a disposable at least once during the day, no matter how many CDs are clean.
I'm thinking of quitting CDs, for Felix, until he can fit better into the medium FBs in another 2 months or so. The stink issues always seem to be with the Sandys dipes, not the FBs anyway.
Ugh. But we can't afford to use disposables full time. I never wanted to use them in the first place! And after spending so much money on CDs, I hate to give it all up now... I really don't want to, but it's so tempting. Felix is so happy in disposables and has so many more cute outfits to wear!
Bah!
Note: Read more of our cloth diapering fun at http://rainydayclothdiapers.blogspot.com/
Elliot's already in disposables at daycare (3 days per week) and at night. Felix is in disposables at night and whenever I run out of his CDs or if I have to go somewhere where I know the stink of CDs will be noticed (I'm so tired of people handing him back and telling me he needs a change!) - although, these days, Felix is in a disposable at least once during the day, no matter how many CDs are clean.
I'm thinking of quitting CDs, for Felix, until he can fit better into the medium FBs in another 2 months or so. The stink issues always seem to be with the Sandys dipes, not the FBs anyway.
Ugh. But we can't afford to use disposables full time. I never wanted to use them in the first place! And after spending so much money on CDs, I hate to give it all up now... I really don't want to, but it's so tempting. Felix is so happy in disposables and has so many more cute outfits to wear!
Bah!
Note: Read more of our cloth diapering fun at http://rainydayclothdiapers.blogspot.com/
Friday, October 24, 2008
October 24, 2008
It started off cute. Elliot burst into our room early one morning last week saying he had pooped and was very, very insistent he needed a change. There was no poop. When I changed him and told him there was no poop, he kept saying "Yes, poop! A little poop!" So I thought maybe he'd dreamed it or had a big fart or whatever.
Then he did it again a few mornings later. And again.
Last night, he woke up after being asleep for only an hour and was again determined there was a poop and he needed a change. I checked him even though I couldn't smell anything, and then put him back to bed. 10 minutes later - same thing. And then again.
Sounds like it's his version of "I'm thirsty. I need a drink." He knows it's something we'll come check. Of course, it's easy enough to check!!!
Then he did it again a few mornings later. And again.
Last night, he woke up after being asleep for only an hour and was again determined there was a poop and he needed a change. I checked him even though I couldn't smell anything, and then put him back to bed. 10 minutes later - same thing. And then again.
Sounds like it's his version of "I'm thirsty. I need a drink." He knows it's something we'll come check. Of course, it's easy enough to check!!!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
October 23, 2008
Yesterday was a great day. Felix and I went shopping and he napped the whole time, I had a great morning out, Came home, watched all the shows I DVR'd from the night before. Cleaned the kitchen, did a pre-rinse load in the dish washer, followed by a full length wash to see how well that worked on the dirtier than normal dishes. put supper in the oven. Packed a snack for Elliot and went to pick him up from daycare.
He ate his snack then whined the whole way home. I was glad supper was already in the oven - usually, he's a brat and I'm trying to cook something and it turns into a huge horrible deal. I was hoping that the snack and pre-made supper would avoid all that crap. Not so.
I caught myself yelling and putting Elliot in time out seconds after we came through the door. (He grabbed the bouncy chair and threw it across the kitchen, tearing a toy off of it. Not a huge deal, since Felix wasn't in it, but I couldn't let the behavior seem ok, since then he might try it when Felix was in it.)
The night spiraled down so quickly, I couldn't stop it. Jay came home a bit later than usual. I was livid. Felix wouldn't sleep at his normal time, and then he started crying and crying... (nursed, changed, rocked, burped, etc) Of course, he was probably picking up on my pissy mood. Jay put Elliot to bed and then went downstairs to his office after I told him I would be ok. But no, I had to take a shrieking Felix from our room (next to Elliot's - I was so sure he would wake up and join in) to the basement and demand that Jay take him before I "threw him against the wall."
Let me cut in here and say that yes, I'm getting the prescription for my antidepressant filled, asap.
Jay got him back to sleep while I sobbed and then Felix and I went to bed. I woke up feeling much better, until I opened my mouth and all that anger just spewed out again. Didn't help that now Jay is in a pissy mood and Elliot was in a biting/pinching mood at 6:30.
Let me also break in to say that Jay's temper scares me. Our poor children are doomed.
This morning just continued in that fashion. I took the kids for groceries. That was a nice outing in the midst of the chaos. Jay is going to try to come home at lunch (soon, I hope) to put Elliot down for his nap, since I'm in no mood to deal with that one.
God, I hate this, I hate this anger, this rage that I'm feeling. I hate yelling at my kids. I have no patience for even the littlest bit of acting out. I need help and I don't know where to get it. I have no idea if the meds are going to help or make things worse. My kids need more than this. My kids are good, happy, healthy, normal kids. I'm only going to mess them up if I continue down this road. At this point, any escalation in my anger is probably going to end badly.
He ate his snack then whined the whole way home. I was glad supper was already in the oven - usually, he's a brat and I'm trying to cook something and it turns into a huge horrible deal. I was hoping that the snack and pre-made supper would avoid all that crap. Not so.
I caught myself yelling and putting Elliot in time out seconds after we came through the door. (He grabbed the bouncy chair and threw it across the kitchen, tearing a toy off of it. Not a huge deal, since Felix wasn't in it, but I couldn't let the behavior seem ok, since then he might try it when Felix was in it.)
The night spiraled down so quickly, I couldn't stop it. Jay came home a bit later than usual. I was livid. Felix wouldn't sleep at his normal time, and then he started crying and crying... (nursed, changed, rocked, burped, etc) Of course, he was probably picking up on my pissy mood. Jay put Elliot to bed and then went downstairs to his office after I told him I would be ok. But no, I had to take a shrieking Felix from our room (next to Elliot's - I was so sure he would wake up and join in) to the basement and demand that Jay take him before I "threw him against the wall."
Let me cut in here and say that yes, I'm getting the prescription for my antidepressant filled, asap.
Jay got him back to sleep while I sobbed and then Felix and I went to bed. I woke up feeling much better, until I opened my mouth and all that anger just spewed out again. Didn't help that now Jay is in a pissy mood and Elliot was in a biting/pinching mood at 6:30.
Let me also break in to say that Jay's temper scares me. Our poor children are doomed.
This morning just continued in that fashion. I took the kids for groceries. That was a nice outing in the midst of the chaos. Jay is going to try to come home at lunch (soon, I hope) to put Elliot down for his nap, since I'm in no mood to deal with that one.
God, I hate this, I hate this anger, this rage that I'm feeling. I hate yelling at my kids. I have no patience for even the littlest bit of acting out. I need help and I don't know where to get it. I have no idea if the meds are going to help or make things worse. My kids need more than this. My kids are good, happy, healthy, normal kids. I'm only going to mess them up if I continue down this road. At this point, any escalation in my anger is probably going to end badly.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
October 21, 2008
We randomly co-slept with Elliot. I enjoy it, having nothing against it, but it just wasn't for us as a full time option. Felix, on the other hand, is making it a full time demand. He and I don't sleep well otherwise.
We have a queen size bed and it is a tight fit for me, Jay and Felix. When you add in Elliot and his kicking feet and pinching fingers in the morning, it gets claustrophobic. Jay sprawls when he sleeps. And he's a deep sleeper. He's also said he doesn't fully trust himself not to clonk Felix in the head or whatever. (He did inadvertently pull the blankets up over Felix's face, but I woke up because he was fussing.)
My back is killing me. With Felix in the bed, I feel I am hugely restricted in my sleeping positions. I am on my left side 90% of the night. And I'm contorted. I nurse laying down and I don't switch positions when I switch sides - I nurse from the top boob. (Felix won't nurse well on that side if I am in the typical position.)
I think if I had more room, things would be much, much better. But we don't even have our spare bed anymore. It's our bed or nothing. I could make Jay sleep on the couch, I guess... but then he wouldn't be next to me for me to wake up when Elliot comes in the room or needs me while I'm nursing.
I've been putting Felix in the middle as it's safer for him to be between us, because Elliot can come in the room at random times in the night and I'd be scared he'd arrive and pull Felix off the bed. Plus, I like to sleep on my left side (which is ideal for nursing, for me) and the only way to do that is with Felix in the middle. Jay won't give up his side of the bed, which would be better for me if I could shimmy it up against the wall. It would take some major moving around of our tiny room. I want a king size bed, but it would take up the whole space and not leave room for bureaus. Blech. )
We have a cradle on my side of the bed, where Felix would spend the nights, at least until recently. But he would wake every 1.5-2 hours then. In our bed, he wakes every 2.5-3.5 hours. I need that extra sleep!!!!! There's no floor space for Elliot. Only at the foot of the bed, but then I'd trip over him on my way out of the room.
I could get rid of the cradle and add the co-sleeper bed thing, but a) it wouldn't give us extra room space and b) I would have to sleep on my right side to nurse, or roll of to my left with him and remember to roll him back to the sleeper after nursing - not always possible.
It's a head scratcher.
We have a queen size bed and it is a tight fit for me, Jay and Felix. When you add in Elliot and his kicking feet and pinching fingers in the morning, it gets claustrophobic. Jay sprawls when he sleeps. And he's a deep sleeper. He's also said he doesn't fully trust himself not to clonk Felix in the head or whatever. (He did inadvertently pull the blankets up over Felix's face, but I woke up because he was fussing.)
My back is killing me. With Felix in the bed, I feel I am hugely restricted in my sleeping positions. I am on my left side 90% of the night. And I'm contorted. I nurse laying down and I don't switch positions when I switch sides - I nurse from the top boob. (Felix won't nurse well on that side if I am in the typical position.)
I think if I had more room, things would be much, much better. But we don't even have our spare bed anymore. It's our bed or nothing. I could make Jay sleep on the couch, I guess... but then he wouldn't be next to me for me to wake up when Elliot comes in the room or needs me while I'm nursing.
I've been putting Felix in the middle as it's safer for him to be between us, because Elliot can come in the room at random times in the night and I'd be scared he'd arrive and pull Felix off the bed. Plus, I like to sleep on my left side (which is ideal for nursing, for me) and the only way to do that is with Felix in the middle. Jay won't give up his side of the bed, which would be better for me if I could shimmy it up against the wall. It would take some major moving around of our tiny room. I want a king size bed, but it would take up the whole space and not leave room for bureaus. Blech. )
We have a cradle on my side of the bed, where Felix would spend the nights, at least until recently. But he would wake every 1.5-2 hours then. In our bed, he wakes every 2.5-3.5 hours. I need that extra sleep!!!!! There's no floor space for Elliot. Only at the foot of the bed, but then I'd trip over him on my way out of the room.
I could get rid of the cradle and add the co-sleeper bed thing, but a) it wouldn't give us extra room space and b) I would have to sleep on my right side to nurse, or roll of to my left with him and remember to roll him back to the sleeper after nursing - not always possible.
It's a head scratcher.
Friday, October 17, 2008
October 17, 2008
Jay bought me a dishwasher. It's being delivered in a few minutes.
It's small (apartment size) and second hand and will take up the little counter space I have to work with, but I don't care because WOOOOOOO less dishes for me to wash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (And to be fair, the counter top where we will put it is generally covered with dirty dishes anyway, so no space lost.
WOOOOOT!!!!
It's small (apartment size) and second hand and will take up the little counter space I have to work with, but I don't care because WOOOOOOO less dishes for me to wash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (And to be fair, the counter top where we will put it is generally covered with dirty dishes anyway, so no space lost.
WOOOOOT!!!!
Friday, October 10, 2008
October 10, 2008
Ugh. Yesterday sucked ass.
Elliot refused to nap. So he didn't. I was having very intense desires to beat the crap out of him that really scared me, so I called Jay and he came home from work. Took E for a walk, etc. No nap. My mom showed up around 4:30 to visit for a bit and drop off her car for us to use this weekend. She was surprised Jay was home and when I told her why, she said that "it's a phase, you'll get used to 2 kids." I reminded her that she used to smack us around with whatever she could: wooden spoons, vinyl siding, empty plastic bottles, etc. I told her I didn't want to raise my kids that way. (To which she replied that was good, but things like this were cyclical - Elliot would likely raise his kids like that because he didn't experience it. Whatever. I digress.)
So, early supper and bath last night. Felix fell asleep in Jay's arms so I decided to to the bath for a change. Well, what a mistake that was. Screaming fit when I tried to brush his teeth, which escalated into uncontrollable meltdown by time he got in the tub. I didn't even do his full bath - just the essentials, then pulled him out, hysterical (and then even more so because he wanted to get back in) and we rocked on the bathroom floor, him screaming and sobbing (the not-able-to-breath kind) the whole time. At one point, he fell asleep mid-scream, but then started up again the second I tried to lay him down to get him dressed.
We made it into his room where he remained hysterical. He finally calmed down enough that he heard me when I offered 'mama milk', and he nursed. We rocked some more and he finally fell asleep.
This whole time, Felix had woken up and was shrieking like a banshee downstairs. Jay was trying everything with no luck.
Elliot didn't sleep well. Had a coughing fit around 1am and it took about an hour to resettle. Woke up a bit earlier than usual, but wouldn't go back to sleep as his diaper had leaked. Then he zoomed around here for an hour as if he was high on caffeine.
I HATE meltdowns. The only good thing about them is that I know they're not in his control and so I don't have that urge to kill him, only to soothe. Tantrums, on the other hand, make me want to smack him into tomorrow.
Elliot refused to nap. So he didn't. I was having very intense desires to beat the crap out of him that really scared me, so I called Jay and he came home from work. Took E for a walk, etc. No nap. My mom showed up around 4:30 to visit for a bit and drop off her car for us to use this weekend. She was surprised Jay was home and when I told her why, she said that "it's a phase, you'll get used to 2 kids." I reminded her that she used to smack us around with whatever she could: wooden spoons, vinyl siding, empty plastic bottles, etc. I told her I didn't want to raise my kids that way. (To which she replied that was good, but things like this were cyclical - Elliot would likely raise his kids like that because he didn't experience it. Whatever. I digress.)
So, early supper and bath last night. Felix fell asleep in Jay's arms so I decided to to the bath for a change. Well, what a mistake that was. Screaming fit when I tried to brush his teeth, which escalated into uncontrollable meltdown by time he got in the tub. I didn't even do his full bath - just the essentials, then pulled him out, hysterical (and then even more so because he wanted to get back in) and we rocked on the bathroom floor, him screaming and sobbing (the not-able-to-breath kind) the whole time. At one point, he fell asleep mid-scream, but then started up again the second I tried to lay him down to get him dressed.
We made it into his room where he remained hysterical. He finally calmed down enough that he heard me when I offered 'mama milk', and he nursed. We rocked some more and he finally fell asleep.
This whole time, Felix had woken up and was shrieking like a banshee downstairs. Jay was trying everything with no luck.
Elliot didn't sleep well. Had a coughing fit around 1am and it took about an hour to resettle. Woke up a bit earlier than usual, but wouldn't go back to sleep as his diaper had leaked. Then he zoomed around here for an hour as if he was high on caffeine.
I HATE meltdowns. The only good thing about them is that I know they're not in his control and so I don't have that urge to kill him, only to soothe. Tantrums, on the other hand, make me want to smack him into tomorrow.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
October 1, 2008
My chocolate addiction has seriously gotten out of hand. I don't even taste it anymore - just stuff it in my mouth. I'm spending $$$ we don't have on chocolate that makes me feel better for a split second, then I crash and when I crash, I'm no fun to be around. I know it's contributing to my PPD symptoms, along with my lack of sleep.
So far, I've come up with:
-Fresh fruit - I love peaches, nectarines, plums, etc. They're pricey, but hey, if I'm spending $30+ a week on bags of chocolate, I might as well put that towards something healthier.
-Fiber One bars - apparently, they make a chocolate one that would maybe satisfy my craving but since it's fiber, it would fill me up longer.
-Pre-cut up fruit & veggies from the produce counter. Again, pricey, but maybe would satisfy me?
Whatever the solution, it has to be healthier than chocolate and easy to eat/prepare one handed.
I've long since made the associate that chocolate soothes me - it's my comfort food. I've always known that, but when I started BFing Elliot, I realized that my craving for creamy, sweet, rich, warm chocolate probably has a lot to do with me wanting the comfort of BFing. My mom BF'd me for 5 months. I think my body remembers it and the only thing I had found to come close to replicating that experience was chocolate. This is fine in moderation. But I don't know how to do moderation. I have zero willpower when it comes to food. The closest I've ever come to managing my cravings was a stint with bulimic tendencies. I don't want to repeat that.
So far, I've come up with:
-Fresh fruit - I love peaches, nectarines, plums, etc. They're pricey, but hey, if I'm spending $30+ a week on bags of chocolate, I might as well put that towards something healthier.
-Fiber One bars - apparently, they make a chocolate one that would maybe satisfy my craving but since it's fiber, it would fill me up longer.
-Pre-cut up fruit & veggies from the produce counter. Again, pricey, but maybe would satisfy me?
Whatever the solution, it has to be healthier than chocolate and easy to eat/prepare one handed.
I've long since made the associate that chocolate soothes me - it's my comfort food. I've always known that, but when I started BFing Elliot, I realized that my craving for creamy, sweet, rich, warm chocolate probably has a lot to do with me wanting the comfort of BFing. My mom BF'd me for 5 months. I think my body remembers it and the only thing I had found to come close to replicating that experience was chocolate. This is fine in moderation. But I don't know how to do moderation. I have zero willpower when it comes to food. The closest I've ever come to managing my cravings was a stint with bulimic tendencies. I don't want to repeat that.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
