October 21, 2008

We randomly co-slept with Elliot. I enjoy it, having nothing against it, but it just wasn't for us as a full time option. Felix, on the other hand, is making it a full time demand. He and I don't sleep well otherwise.

We have a queen size bed and it is a tight fit for me, Jay and Felix. When you add in Elliot and his kicking feet and pinching fingers in the morning, it gets claustrophobic. Jay sprawls when he sleeps. And he's a deep sleeper. He's also said he doesn't fully trust himself not to clonk Felix in the head or whatever. (He did inadvertently pull the blankets up over Felix's face, but I woke up because he was fussing.)

My back is killing me. With Felix in the bed, I feel I am hugely restricted in my sleeping positions. I am on my left side 90% of the night. And I'm contorted. I nurse laying down and I don't switch positions when I switch sides - I nurse from the top boob. (Felix won't nurse well on that side if I am in the typical position.)

I think if I had more room, things would be much, much better. But we don't even have our spare bed anymore. It's our bed or nothing. I could make Jay sleep on the couch, I guess... but then he wouldn't be next to me for me to wake up when Elliot comes in the room or needs me while I'm nursing.

I've been putting Felix in the middle as it's safer for him to be between us, because Elliot can come in the room at random times in the night and I'd be scared he'd arrive and pull Felix off the bed. Plus, I like to sleep on my left side (which is ideal for nursing, for me) and the only way to do that is with Felix in the middle. Jay won't give up his side of the bed, which would be better for me if I could shimmy it up against the wall. It would take some major moving around of our tiny room. I want a king size bed, but it would take up the whole space and not leave room for bureaus. Blech. )

We have a cradle on my side of the bed, where Felix would spend the nights, at least until recently. But he would wake every 1.5-2 hours then. In our bed, he wakes every 2.5-3.5 hours. I need that extra sleep!!!!! There's no floor space for Elliot. Only at the foot of the bed, but then I'd trip over him on my way out of the room.

I could get rid of the cradle and add the co-sleeper bed thing, but a) it wouldn't give us extra room space and b) I would have to sleep on my right side to nurse, or roll of to my left with him and remember to roll him back to the sleeper after nursing - not always possible.

It's a head scratcher.

August 21, 2008

Just locked my child in his room. I *hate* nap time. it's been an hour and 20 minutes of crying/yelling/knocking/destroying/playing. He's exhausted but reallllllly fighting his nap. He was up at freaking 6am, you'd think he'd fall asleep the second his head touched the bed.

We did our usual routine. We went over the "Sleep Rules" (which worked beautifully for about a week, then the sticker rewards just didn't hold his interest anymore.) I rocked him and sang to him. Put him in his bead and left. He was in the hallway before I was downstairs.

Between Felix screaming and Elliot yelling, I'm very surprised child services isn't camped outside my house right now. Crap - I just looked - there is a car parked out there with a woman in the back seat staring at my house. Oh well. Whatever.

Then Elliot filled his diaper with one of his rottenest poops ever. Cleaned that up and re-tucked him in again (silently, I try not to talk with him if/when I have to go back in). No luck. Went back up and started hauling things out of his room - toys, books, the rocking chair, and tucked him in again.

Just put the baby gate up in his doorway so he couldn't get out and he's been crying off and on for the last 10 minutes. He's got 5 more minutes and then this nap is over. I'll give him lunch, toss him in the stroller and we'll go about our day. If he gets a 30 minute snooze, so be it. Early bedtime tonight.

He can't be outgrowing naps yet, can he??? He doesn't go to sleep until 9ish at night and then he's up at the crack of dawn. This child NEEDS to nap. I need him to nap or I'm going to hurt him.


Ahhhh... silence from upstairs! Could it be???!

I guess tomorrow I'll start his nap routine later - maybe around noon instead of 11. Maybe that will help knock him out. But I count on that 11 am nap so desperately.....


Nope. He's yelling again.


~~~~~~
We'll, this is a first. Brought him down, gave him his lunch. Came in a few minutes later and saw this:

February 18, 2008

Elliot's been waking up at 5:30 again. For the day. For the last 3-4 weeks. Even a 6 weeks ago, he was "sleeping in" until 6:45-7ish.

He wakes up, does a really loud, persistent and very fake cry until we go in. Then he waves and says "hiiiiiiiiiiii!!" Usually, try to soothe him in his crib but that never works - he tries to climb me. So we sit in the rocker, in the dark, and he sometimes doses off again. But whenever I try to put him back in his crib, he's instantly on his feet and the whole thing starts up again. Usually I then nurse him and try rocking him some more, which doesn't work, so I then pass him off to Jay who changes him and they comes downstairs while I crawl back into bed to try to sleep for 30 minutes before getting up for work.

This morning, this all started at 4:45. I rocked him and he dosed off. Put him down again around 5:15. Instant screaming. I went to the bathroom to let him CIO a bit while I got a cloth wipe warm. Jay got up. I asked him to warm a bottle of milk while I nursed him (turns out he didn't have a poopy diaper, so we put off changing him.) Elliot downed the bottle (this is new - we never do a bottle in the mornings) and I rocked him some more. He was sleepy but awake, and I put him down anyway around 5:45. Made it back to bed and he started yelling. Jay got up and took a turn. He was back in bed by 6. Elliot was yelling again by 6:05, and so we decided that Jay would change him into a daytime diaper and I'd take him downstairs for breakfast.

While we were discussing this and Elliot was yelling, our boarder got up to start his day, so Jay had to wait for the bathroom to be free so he could get warm water for the change, etc. Elliot was surprisingly quiet, despite door openings and closings and then noises in the kitchen while M got his breakfast ready. 6:30, Elliot is still quiet so we all go back to sleep.

It's 8 and Elliot is still asleep. I don't know what freak of nature or stroke of luck made it happen, but I'm very glad it did. I guess he took a second to rest his eyes and passed out. He wouldn't sleep until 8:30 last night, so I know he is exhausted.

It doesn't seem to matter what time he goes to bed at night. We've tried everything between 7-8:30 and he still wakes up at 5:30. I think our option right now is to check on him once at 5:30 and then leave and hope he sorts himself out. I suppose I could continue giving him a bottle, in case he's hungry, which is what I think part of the problem is. Even though he eats a ton during the day and has a good supper.

When he's up this early, he needs 2 naps during the day, but then when he has those 2 naps, he doesn't want to sleep at night. Without that second nap, he's a cranky, horrible creature that no one wants to be around.

January 6, 2008

Up until about a month ago, Elliot would go to bed around 7, sleep until 4/5, nurse, sometimes then play for an hour on his own in his crib, then sleep until 7/8 and be up for the day.

He was also taking 3 hours naps once a day.

Now, he's waking up at 5:30 for the day, no matter what time he goes to bed at night. (We've tried a variety of times between 7-8:30). He's also gone back to 2 short (1-1.5 hr) naps per day.

I hate this schedule!! Jay keeps saying that sleep begets sleep and so if we just let him sleep as much as he wants during the day (ie, not waking him up if his naps goes past 5pm), he'll eventually things will change. (Yeah, Jay isn't the one getting up at 5:30 every day. It's me, 95% of the time.)

I think that we need to force/distract him into having a later and later nap in the hopes that it will turn back into a long nap and only 1 nap. And continue putting him to bed at 7.

Another problem to this is that sometimes I think just letting him cry would help, instead of running to check on him. (I usually do let him wait a couple of minutes.) But, the problem with this is that we now have a paying boarder who stays in the room next to Elliot and I feel crappy about him paying to be living here (it's temporary) and being woken up at odd hours.

Yesterday, Elliot woke at 5:30, napped from 10-11:30 and again from 4-5 (when I woke him) and then fell asleep at 8. he was up for an hour at 2, crying - he wanted me to hold him and kept trying to climb out of his crib while crying, so I gave in and rocked him. Then he was up for the day at 5:30.

Ugh!!!!!!!!! I'm exhausted and hate having to go to bed when he does so I can cope with his wake ups. Jay doesn't come to bed until 1, (for a variety of reasons, the main on being he's out of work right now and is working on freelance stuff) so I feel like a total jerk waking him to go tend to Elliot in the night.

December 21, 2007

It was nap time. Elliot was pretty wound up and I was worried he wouldn't sleep. I changed him. He pointed at his soother. I gave it to him. He laid down and gestured to his blanket. I covered him up, he stayed down. I left. I checked on him within 5 minutes and he was out, in pretty much the same position. No crying. No screaming. No playing. No babbling. Just out.

This is the child who has needed to be nursed/rocked/sung to sleep since he was tiny.

Holy crap! I like this!

We've also cut out a nursing session. Down to 2-3 per day. Makes me sad, but a bit relieved. Never thought I'd say that, either!

August 13, 2007

How does "Crying It Out" actually help them to self-soothe???

if Elliot screams blue murder and i go check on him and shhhhh him and lay him back down and tuck him in every 5 minutes or so only to have him pop back up when i start to leave the room and we do the whole thing over again, how does that teach him to self soothe? if he cries himself right out, how is that teaching him anything?

it's been 30 minutes. almost 15 minutes were all out angry screeching, with me going in every 5-6 minutes to re-settle. of course, me leaving again just made him madder. Jay finally came upstairs and made me leave. when i left, the screams had finally died down to moans and fussing. i know his soother is on the floor. i know his little face is all red and his nose is running. i know i just want to be holding him.

but i know that me rocking him to sleep isn't working any more. he wants me to hold him but he's starting to arch away. he wants me there, and doesn't want me to leave. i know me going in after 5 minutes of screaming and picking him up and rocking him again will put him to sleep, but i also know that it only teaches him to scream until he's in my arms.

how does CIO actually teach them to go to sleep? will he get to the point where he will not even bother crying because he knows i won't pick him up and will just lay there until he falls asleep? i know that my 10 year old won't need me to rock him to sleep, so why shouldn't i continue rocking him now, until he's a bit older? he's bound to learn on his own someday - maybe when he can talk and i can reason with him? (yeah, yeah, you can't really reason with a toddler, i know, i know.)

Jay keeps saying he needs to learn, he needs to learn and it's our job to teach him. but how is this working? how is screaming until he gags helping him learn anything?????

i'm drinking wine and crying. my poor little boy. i feel like such a shitty mom. i hate CIO. we've done it before, when he was 7 months or so. i hated every second of it, but it did work well for him. now that he stands up it's added a whole new dimension, and it's worse.



he's crying again....

July 22, 2007

Elliot went to bed at 7:30.

he usually wakes up a couple of times before i go to bed, but last night he didn't.

in fact, he didn't wake up until 4:30 to nurse!

he went back to sleep a bit after 5 and slept until nearly 8!!! he's usually up by 7.

holy crap! whoever this boy is that has replaced my son... well he can stay!!!!!

this was his BEST SLEEP EVER!!!!!

and of course i went to bed around midnight, so didn't get to take advantage of most of it!

May 3, 2007

Elliot started pulling himself up in his crib yesterday - i knew it was coming, as he's been trying to for weeks now. but yesterday was his first "all by myself" time. (YAY ELLIOT!!!)

but, now he won't stop and this is making naps and middle of the night nursings tricky. we used to be able to put him down, drowsy but not asleep, and he might cry for a second or crawl around a bit, and then go to sleep. but now, he goes into a full roar and pulls himself up to standing and rattles the bars of the crib. he's certainly not going to put himself to sleep like this!

so i've gone back to rocking him or nursing him back to full sleep before putting him down. i know babies wake up to practice new abilities, and i'm hoping that's all this is. and that it will subside once the novelty wears off. but i'm worried that i'm wrecking his sleep habits by putting him down already asleep. (he seems to wake up sooner and more frequently if i put him down asleep. if he puts himself to sleep, i guess he's not so freaked out when he wakes up and i'm no longer rocking or nursing him and he just goes back to sleep on his own.)

but still.... a great developmental milestone for E-man!

He's been creeping around on his belly and also getting up on all fours and rocking back and forth for a month now. A few days ago, he crawled a few paces (without knowing it) because he was trying to catch Melon. This afternoon, he did the same thing, only trying to get another baby. Then, later on, he crawled across our living room floor! But that time, he had a look of triumph on his face. He knew what he was doing, but i don't think it was absolutely clear how he was doing it.

The baby-proofing begins in earnest now. Yikes!

January 23, 2007

Elliot is 4 months old already! He had a check up yesterday, and he is 17 lbs 4 oz and 26 inches long. He had immunizations again and didn't even blink! Such a good boy. He didn't have any reactions to the shots either - no fever or irritation. He slept for almost 8 hours in a row last night - something he hasn't done since before Christmas. (His cold really threw him off, I think.)

His measurements now mean he's officially too long for his infant carseat. We need to get a next stage carseat that is designed to stay in the car that we don't have. These types of carseats don't have a handy handle on them, and this will make travel interesting. I think we'll invest in a heavy duty stroller and make it a point of walking everywhere, even in crappy weather.

I've been putting Elliot in his crib in his own room for naps for the last 2 weeks. Over the weekend, we put him there at bedtime. So far, so good, but it's only been 3 nights! I think it's much harder on mommy than it is on him. I've already had a few cries about it. I know he's probably going to sleep much better without the noises and distractions from our room (the cats knock things off the dresser, etc)... but he's been in a cradle next to our bed for the last 4 months. *sniff* My little boy! I miss him already!

Today I bought a white noise machine to see if it would help him nap longer. He usually fusses and wakes up after napping 40 minutes, but with the machine, I heard him fuss once then fall back to sleep at the 45 minute mark. He's still sleeping right now and it's been an hour! Woooo woooo! Let's hope it's a trend.

He rolled over today from his belly to his back 100% on his own. He rolled at 3 months, but we helped a bit - we would lay next to him on the bed and our weight would dip the mattress a touch & help him get the momentum needed.

Look out world, Elliot is coming to meet you!

Mommyhood

I'm loving it! It's challenging, we're by no means in a set routine, but things are going very good with us. Whenever Elliot wants to eat/sleep/poop, we accommodate him. And he's so good at snuggling and cuddling!

We started a bedtime routine, as getting him to sleep is sometimes a battle. So at night, we feed him, bath him, swaddle him and rock him for 20 minutes then put him down to sleep. He usually sleeps for 2 hours, then wakes to eat again. Then there's a diaper change and more rocking, and (usually) another 2 hour sleep. This is repeated as long as possible! During the day, he's alert more (we had a few nights were he was wide awake - not fussing, thankfully - for 5-6 hours... so not good for mommy and daddy!)... our daytime "routine" is pretty much eat, change, rock/hold for 20 minutes then we put him down to sleep in the swing. Usually get about an hour at a time, longer if someone is holding him.

Today we have a play date with the other 2 couples from our Lamaze classes. They both had boys, too! It will be neat to see them all together!

Yesterday we went for our newborn photo shoot. The little proofs he showed us on the screen looked amazing. He said we should have real proofs in about 2 weeks - I can't wait!! Elliot was such a cooperative baby, and he only peed on daddy once! (The dangers of naked-baby photo shoots!)

We *seem* to have solved the breast feeding issue. His latch still isn't perfect, but he's able to nurse on the right side without using the fake nipple shield. Turns out I have flat nipples, and he has a recessed chin and a curved hard palate (newborns tend to have a flat palate that curves as they mature), all of which contribute to him having to work very hard at a proper latch. Poor little guy, the deck is stacked against him! But we're determined and are muddling through it all.

He's such a big boy! Last week, we had him weighed and he was already 9lbs 14.8 oz - which was an increase of 19 oz in 9 days - and newborns usually average a gain of 1 oz per day! So he's a hefty little man - so adorable!